How many of you watched your parents model self compassion? If you did, I'm guessing it's not a huge struggle for you? And those who didn't? Might be a harder pattern to establish.
There is incredible power in offering yourself genuine compassion and kindness when you mess up. There is even more power in letting your children see you do it. Children, (especially highly sensitive children), learn self -treatment based on not only how we treat them, but how they watch us treat ourselves. Especially when we flub.
Your kids are doing the best they can with what they have, and so are you. Being harsh or shaming doesn't inspire us to do better, it just inspires us to feel awful about ourselves.
Instead gentle accountability and compassionate understanding to inspire authenticity and problem solving for moving forward.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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In this video, learn why it's important to focus on soothing and supporting kids' emotions before trying to teach them, as strong emotions take energy away from the brain's thinking and processing areas, and how you can use co-regulation and language to help them grow once they've calmed down. Remember to "Connect before you correct," as Dr. Karyn Purvis said.
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In this video, you'll learn that hovering over our kids to protect them is not the best form of protection, as they need us to be connected with them so they can come to us as a refuge, and that the best protection we can offer them is connection.
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