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Kindness is something we learn in proximity to others. It is receiving empathy that makes giving empathy intuitive, not having our other responses shamed.
Just like we give children the opportunity to learn math and reading and don't expect it to make sense overnight or after one instruction, we can give children the developmental space they need to learn what kindness feels like and what a great thing it truly is.
P.S. neurodivergent children may look less "kind" or like they are struggling to learn it because their brains are focusing differently and they need specific learning tools. If you are doing this well and it's not working, might be worth seeking an evaluation thru your school etc.
In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.