If you offer empathy to someone in an angry state it will help them feel seen heard and connected to you. But if you offer that empathy to someone in an angry state who has abusive mentalities... It won't work.
Someone who relates to other people through power and control, or an abusive mindset, uses anger to justify intentionally hurting others.
Anger is a valid thing in all healthy relationships. But using your anger to justify harmful behavior is abusive and not ok.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
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