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It is difficult to take the time to process and heal your childhood stories, and on top of that it can also feel difficult to believe it is necessary and not navel gazing.
But it IS necessary work if you want to raise children who are securely attached to you. The attachment research shows that when we reflect on our early relationships with our caregivers and process through the emotions related to those experiences, we clear the past insecurity to make way for present secure ways of relating.
When you care for your younger traumas or disconnections, you are also caring for your children.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this powerful video, learn how to differentiate between empathy and pity, and why cultivating empathy is essential for healing broken attachment relationships from childhood.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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