In generational trauma cycles, it usually takes multiple generations to get back to a secure way of relating.
We went from power and control dynamics to behavioral dynamics to connection dynamics.
Somewhere in an insecure lineage there was trauma and/or the intrusion of a colonial mindset (control over connection) that threw off your family from the human instinct to cultivate a secure attachment relationship between parent and child.
Your job as a parent is to do as much of the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
My mom did some incredible cycle breaking. She protected me from an unbelievable load of harsh treatment. It gave me the capacity to keep the cycle breaking going. I am so thankful for that, even if she wasn't able to get us all the way to secure when I was a child, she laid the path for me to do it for my children. And then they can take that security and deepen the legacy of connection for their children.
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Watch this insightful video and discover how childhood anxiety and caretaker focus can hinder a person's ability to grow down into their more carefree and less responsible self, and why allowing children to enjoy the process of growing up is crucial to their development.
A message to all fathers: keep going with your efforts to connect with your children because they desperately need to see what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like, and it will create a secure attachment that fosters resilience.
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In this video, we learn how attachment experiences can affect the way we process trauma, with empathy and compassion being key to healing and preventing feelings of guilt, blame and shame that can linger long after an event has ended.
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