The heart of a person with an avoidant attachment style isn't "I don't want to be close"...it's "I don't want to burden you with my needs and emotions".
So if someone you love is avoidant, be faithful to show up in their small stuff and remind them how honored you feel to do so. They are so scared their needs will push you away so take time to show them that the opposite is actually true.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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In this video, you'll learn about the challenges that couples face in their attachment when having children, and the importance of understanding and valuing the labor of the partner who cares for the children at home, as childcare is also work.
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