The myth of parental control is so prevalent in our culture and our mindsets it is a hard one to shake.
I struggle with its presence in my own mind daily.
But I know it's a myth. We are not in control of our children and if we relate through power and control, we do great harm to our children and our relationship with them.
But we are in control of how we respond to our children.
When we take our focus off controlling their behavior and onto how we respond with our behavior we can offer a far more secure attachment relationship for our children as they grow and mature into people who have greater neurological capacity for self control.
Parenting can be hard. You want to do everything you can to make your kid feel worthy, but sometimes it feels like you're just not sure what to do. Luckily, dogs offer some great advice!
Learn about the concept of Restraint Collapse and how children rely on their attachment relationship to express their emotions in this insightful video, which provides tips on how to offer compassion and a safe space for your kids to release their emotional tensions after holding it together all day.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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