This is the abuse cycle: honeymoon>tension buildup>abuse/eruption>apologies/calm-after-the-storm>honeymoon again
When you have lived the cycle of abuse, you have internalized the cycle. Especially if that cycle was present in your childhood relationships.
This can lead to a confusing pattern in your adult relationships.....you may not feel comfortable when things are good with safe people.
That is because your body is anticipating the tension and then the abuse ....so you may find yourself starting to pick fights to "get it over with".
You don't like the fight/abuse, you just hate waiting for it.
Instead of using a blow up to get to the calm after the storm, use your storytelling ability. Share your painful stories with the safe people in your life and let yourself grieve. It will bring rest without the mess.
Learn how to give an effective apology by understanding the impact of your actions and making a sincere effort to repair the relationship, rather than simply saying "I'm sorry”
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In this video, you'll learn about self-gaslighting, which is learned from attachment relationships where someone taught you to constantly question your body, reactions, and views on reality, and the importance of acknowledging the trauma and learning to trust your own needs.
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In this video, you'll learn that an abusive mentality is one of the hardest addictions to kick, with only 5% of people who seek treatment making meaningful changes, due to the intertwined nature of childhood experiences, strong justifications for the behavior, and the need for vulnerability and accountability to heal.
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