This is the abuse cycle: honeymoon>tension buildup>abuse/eruption>apologies/calm-after-the-storm>honeymoon again
When you have lived the cycle of abuse, you have internalized the cycle. Especially if that cycle was present in your childhood relationships.
This can lead to a confusing pattern in your adult relationships.....you may not feel comfortable when things are good with safe people.
That is because your body is anticipating the tension and then the abuse ....so you may find yourself starting to pick fights to "get it over with".
You don't like the fight/abuse, you just hate waiting for it.
Instead of using a blow up to get to the calm after the storm, use your storytelling ability. Share your painful stories with the safe people in your life and let yourself grieve. It will bring rest without the mess.
Discover evidence-based techniques for helping children process traumatic events in a healthy way, including encouraging them to tell their story and avoiding avoidance, with guidance from expert Dr. Dan Siegel and clinical experience.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the speaker reflects on the challenges of supporting loved ones in addiction recovery and offers insights into why defensiveness and anger can be common responses.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, learn how to practice emotional self-care by setting healthy boundaries with people in your life who are unable or unwilling to respect them, and how to recognize that it's not cruel to spend less time with them in order to protect your peace.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}