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Because we identify with our attachment loves (kids, spouses, parents, best friends etc) we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves.
If you find it easier to be kind and generous with strangers or acquaintances, it is likely about your own lack of self compassion, not something with your loves.
Try being more gentle with yourself and watch what happens with your instincts towards the people who matter most.
This video offers guidance on how parents can help their kids learn about conflict resolution through setting boundaries and offering compassion towards both parties, emphasizing the importance of safety and boundaries, effective communication, and moving to repair in conflict situations.
In this video, you'll learn that the path to finding and keeping secure love involves working through past attachments and understanding our learned patterns of love, which can free us to choose partners who truly love us in a different way than we may have been used to.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire