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How to Raise Consent Detectives: Showing Your Child What 'yes' Looks Like

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What is a consent detective and how do you raise your child to be one?

A consent detective is a human being able to read emotions in other people accurately. It's that simple. 

However, it's not simple for many people because they were taught to ignore their emotions when they were children. For those of you who are raising children now, we can do better.

Here are three things that you should do to help raise a consent detective: 

  1. Teach your kids how to notice enthusiasm in people. 

When they're on the playground or on the slide point out how that person felt excited when they were going down, and help them notice how bodies lean in towards things that we desire or want.

Help them notice hesitancy in people. When people feel scared or uncomfortable, help them notice how bodies start to lean out, how eyes start to look down, teach them the cues that represent someone, wanting something and someone not wanting something.

  1.  Teach them to recognize those cues in their own body.

Empower them to say no to things that they don't want. But also as many times as possible, say yes to things that they do want. 

Knowing your yes is as important as knowing your no.

  1. Model for them your own consent process.

Show them that you say no. 

When you don't really wanna spend time with your friends, show them how you decline an invitation and talk about your reasons why to them, or when eating with friends you say “I actually don't eat that” when you're with a group of people who eat foods that you don't eat, show them.

Help them deeply understand the nuance of what desire looks like in all other places outside of sexuality, so that when they develop sexuality, they're already empowered to know the difference between someone who is desiring the same thing that they are and someone who is either not yet ready or not interested.

What is a consent detective and how do you raise your child to be one, a consent detective is a human being with a capacity to accurately read emotions in other people. It's actually that simple. However, it's not simple for a lot of people because they were taught to ignore their emotions when they were.

for those of you who are raising children. Now let's do better three things that you should do to help raise a consent. Detective one, teach your littles how to notice enthusiasm in people. When they're on the playground, when they're on the slide that person built enthusiastic, that person felt excited, helped them notice the way that bodies lean in towards things that we desire or.

Help them notice hesitancy in people, help them notice when people feel scared or uncomfortable, help them notice how bodies start to lean out. How eyes start to look down, teach them the cues that represent someone, wanting something and someone not wanting something to teach them those cues in their own body and empower them to say no to things that they don't want.

But also to as many times as, as possible, say yes to things that they do want, knowing your yes is as important as knowing your no and three model for them, your own consent process, show them that you say no. When you don't really wanna spend time with your friends, show them that you say I actually don't eat that when you're with a group of people who eat foods that you don't eat, show them.

The yes to your sour patch kids. Okay. I have a sour patch kid problem, but show them what yes. Looks like in friendships in life. Help them deeply understand. The nuance of what desire looks like in all other places outside of sexuality, so that when they develop sexuality, they're already empowered to know the difference between someone who is desiring the same thing that they are and someone who is either not yet ready or not interested.

What is a consent detective and how do you raise your child to be one, a consent detective is a human being with a capacity to accurately read emotions in other people. It's actually that simple. However, it's not simple for a lot of people because they were taught to ignore their emotions when they were.

for those of you who are raising children. Now let's do better three things that you should do to help raise a consent. Detective one, teach your littles how to notice enthusiasm in people. When they're on the playground, when they're on the slide that person built enthusiastic, that person felt excited, helped them notice the way that bodies lean in towards things that we desire or.

Help them notice hesitancy in people, help them notice when people feel scared or uncomfortable, help them notice how bodies start to lean out. How eyes start to look down, teach them the cues that represent someone, wanting something and someone not wanting something to teach them those cues in their own body and empower them to say no to things that they don't want.

But also to as many times as, as possible, say yes to things that they do want, knowing your yes is as important as knowing your no and three model for them, your own consent process, show them that you say no. When you don't really wanna spend time with your friends, show them that you say I actually don't eat that when you're with a group of people who eat foods that you don't eat, show them.

The yes to your sour patch kids. Okay. I have a sour patch kid problem, but show them what yes. Looks like in friendships in life. Help them deeply understand. The nuance of what desire looks like in all other places outside of sexuality, so that when they develop sexuality, they're already empowered to know the difference between someone who is desiring the same thing that they are and someone who is either not yet ready or not interested.

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