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What is a consent detective and how do you raise your child to be one?
A consent detective is a human being able to read emotions in other people accurately. It's that simple.
However, it's not simple for many people because they were taught to ignore their emotions when they were children. For those of you who are raising children now, we can do better.
Here are three things that you should do to help raise a consent detective:
When they're on the playground or on the slide point out how that person felt excited when they were going down, and help them notice how bodies lean in towards things that we desire or want.
Help them notice hesitancy in people. When people feel scared or uncomfortable, help them notice how bodies start to lean out, how eyes start to look down, teach them the cues that represent someone, wanting something and someone not wanting something.
Empower them to say no to things that they don't want. But also as many times as possible, say yes to things that they do want.
Knowing your yes is as important as knowing your no.
Show them that you say no.
When you don't really wanna spend time with your friends, show them how you decline an invitation and talk about your reasons why to them, or when eating with friends you say “I actually don't eat that” when you're with a group of people who eat foods that you don't eat, show them.
Help them deeply understand the nuance of what desire looks like in all other places outside of sexuality, so that when they develop sexuality, they're already empowered to know the difference between someone who is desiring the same thing that they are and someone who is either not yet ready or not interested.
What is a consent detective and how do you raise your child to be one?
A consent detective is a human being able to read emotions in other people accurately. It's that simple.
However, it's not simple for many people because they were taught to ignore their emotions when they were children. For those of you who are raising children now, we can do better.
Here are three things that you should do to help raise a consent detective:
When they're on the playground or on the slide point out how that person felt excited when they were going down, and help them notice how bodies lean in towards things that we desire or want.
Help them notice hesitancy in people. When people feel scared or uncomfortable, help them notice how bodies start to lean out, how eyes start to look down, teach them the cues that represent someone, wanting something and someone not wanting something.
Empower them to say no to things that they don't want. But also as many times as possible, say yes to things that they do want.
Knowing your yes is as important as knowing your no.
Show them that you say no.
When you don't really wanna spend time with your friends, show them how you decline an invitation and talk about your reasons why to them, or when eating with friends you say “I actually don't eat that” when you're with a group of people who eat foods that you don't eat, show them.
Help them deeply understand the nuance of what desire looks like in all other places outside of sexuality, so that when they develop sexuality, they're already empowered to know the difference between someone who is desiring the same thing that they are and someone who is either not yet ready or not interested.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
In this video, the speaker discusses "Compassionate Transportation," a technique for safely and empathetically getting children to cooperate when they are overwhelmed by emotions and immediate actions are necessary.
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In this video, learn three practical tips for helping children learn honesty, including recognizing and managing your own anxiety, understanding that lying is normal and has a range of nuances, and creating an environment of empathy and understanding for messiness.
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