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Because we identify with our attachment loves (kids, spouses, parents, best friends etc) we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves.
If you find it easier to be kind and generous with strangers or acquaintances, it is likely about your own lack of self compassion, not something with your loves.
Try being more gentle with yourself and watch what happens with your instincts towards the people who matter most.
In this video, you'll learn about the challenges that couples face in their attachment when having children, and the importance of understanding and valuing the labor of the partner who cares for the children at home, as childcare is also work.
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
In this video, you'll learn about the difference between intention and impact, and that while you can share how someone's actions or inactions impacted you, the authority over their intentions belongs to them, and if you don't trust their explanation, it may be time to move on or evaluate your past trauma.