Thank goodness that the attachment research is clear that our children do not need us to be perfect, or constantly attentive, or winning the parent of the year award. (Who can up with that idea anyway???)
They need us to be connection focused and capable of repairing when we get off the tracks.
Instead of laboring anxiously to be a good parent, secure attachment is formed from a parent's dedication to being a consistently responsive parent (specifically in times where our children are tender or in emotional distress).
Focus on the relationship between you and your littles and listening to their needs, soothing them when they are in pain, and delighting in them when you have the chance.
No need to beat yourself up for being grumpy sometimes or having a million distractions or not having their lunches cut into the shapes of their favorite cartoon characters.
You're not a bad parent. You're a person who is parenting in a complex world. And our instinct to bond to each other is strong and will weather many storms if we stay dedicated to returning to connection and care.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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Learn three simple techniques to help you reset and reconnect with your children when you reach your breaking point as a parent, including taking a time out, having a silly tantrum, and taking a silent hug reset.
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In this video, learn how understanding and addressing the underlying needs behind a child's behavior can lead to a more secure attachment and empowering parent-child relationship.
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