When we see our children in emotional pain we want to help. And we often see the lesson that would have prevented the pain.
Teaching them these things is good.
But timing the teaching is key.
Only after they are past the emotional flooding will they be able to fully hear us and integrate that information.
Regulate your body and offer calming compassion and when you see their body take a shuddery release breath, give it a few more minutes....then talk about the idea or insight you think will help.
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In this video, you'll learn about the myth of parental control, and how focusing on controlling our own behavior rather than our children's behavior can lead to a more secure attachment relationship and greater self-control in our children.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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