When we see our children in emotional pain we want to help. And we often see the lesson that would have prevented the pain.
Teaching them these things is good.
But timing the teaching is key.
Only after they are past the emotional flooding will they be able to fully hear us and integrate that information.
Regulate your body and offer calming compassion and when you see their body take a shuddery release breath, give it a few more minutes....then talk about the idea or insight you think will help.