It is developmentally normal for small children to struggle with impulse control and to hit, pinch, push, grab etc.
But the experience of being hit, pinched, pushed, grab etc is painful at any stage of development.
When another child is doing these things to your child is can be incredibly triggering and hard to navigate (esp if the other parent is not intervening and is a friend or acquaintance).
Remember that these are moments to teach your children 2 things:
1. Body ownership and permission to set boundaries with people who hurt them
2. That you care about their pain and will calmly but firmly protect them from people that are using hurtful hands or words
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, the speaker discusses "Compassionate Transportation," a technique for safely and empathetically getting children to cooperate when they are overwhelmed by emotions and immediate actions are necessary.
Discover evidence-based techniques for helping children process traumatic events in a healthy way, including encouraging them to tell their story and avoiding avoidance, with guidance from expert Dr. Dan Siegel and clinical experience.
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