It is developmentally normal for small children to struggle with impulse control and to hit, pinch, push, grab etc.
But the experience of being hit, pinched, pushed, grab etc is painful at any stage of development.
When another child is doing these things to your child is can be incredibly triggering and hard to navigate (esp if the other parent is not intervening and is a friend or acquaintance).
Remember that these are moments to teach your children 2 things:
1. Body ownership and permission to set boundaries with people who hurt them
2. That you care about their pain and will calmly but firmly protect them from people that are using hurtful hands or words
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In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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