When kids are given care and responsiveness to their needs, they are free to grow into adults who believe their needs are valid. As a result they don't wait for their needs to be noticed by others, they notice their own needs and speak them freely, expecting care and support.
On the other hand, when kids grow up with caregivers who are unable to give them emotional care and support, they get stuck in a cycle of seeking external validation and waiting for others to notice their needs.
The key to healing that wound is to grieve that no one was able to offer you care as a child and then commit to being the person who does it now. Your needs matter and the more you speak them outwardly instead of waiting for validation, the less validation you will need. And the more you will feel loved because adult love is not about having someone read your mind, it's about having someone respond to your requests with attentiveness and care.
*P.s. There are some cultures that are adept at reading others needs as a communal commitment. If this is the case, it is different because everyone is reading everyone else's needs making it developmentally appropriate and equitable. I'm specially aware of this in some East Asian cultures such as Nunchi in Korean culture
A message to all fathers: keep going with your efforts to connect with your children because they desperately need to see what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like, and it will create a secure attachment that fosters resilience.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn how to navigate parenting with a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to attachment-focused parenting in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of starting with connection, collaboration, and modeling instead of trying to persuade or degrade your partner's way of doing things, and seeking support if your partner is abusive.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the speaker debunks myths of romance and emphasizes the importance of respecting boundaries and avoiding coercion in relationships for genuine intimacy to flourish.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}