The attachment research calls the instinct to push when you are wanting to be close "protest" behavior.
In couples counseling I often call it sabotage.
You are hurt because you feel distant, but instead of walking closer to your sweetheart and asking for connection (and receiving when they try), you throw rocks at them (in the form of criticism or bad energy etc) and bat away the opportunities to reconnect.
The most effective way to bring your partner close is to share your desire to be close.
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In this video, you'll learn about the cycle of abuse, how it can affect your relationships, and a helpful strategy for finding peace without resorting to destructive patterns.
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This video offers insightful perspective and tools for healing from inherited attachment wounds, acknowledging the realities of our caregivers' patterns while breaking the cycle for future generations
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