The attachment research calls the instinct to push when you are wanting to be close "protest" behavior.
In couples counseling I often call it sabotage.
You are hurt because you feel distant, but instead of walking closer to your sweetheart and asking for connection (and receiving when they try), you throw rocks at them (in the form of criticism or bad energy etc) and bat away the opportunities to reconnect.
The most effective way to bring your partner close is to share your desire to be close.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
Discover how to support a child who has experienced sexual abuse with this overview guide. Learn essential steps, from providing empathy and encouragement to seeking professional help, ensuring their path to recovery is filled with love and support.
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
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