The attachment research calls the instinct to push when you are wanting to be close "protest" behavior.
In couples counseling I often call it sabotage.
You are hurt because you feel distant, but instead of walking closer to your sweetheart and asking for connection (and receiving when they try), you throw rocks at them (in the form of criticism or bad energy etc) and bat away the opportunities to reconnect.
The most effective way to bring your partner close is to share your desire to be close.
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Learn how contempt in relationships often stems from shame and how to address the root cause of contempt by addressing the underlying shame through vulnerability and open communication with your partner or attachment figures in this insightful and practical video.
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In this video, you'll learn about the difference between intention and impact, and that while you can share how someone's actions or inactions impacted you, the authority over their intentions belongs to them, and if you don't trust their explanation, it may be time to move on or evaluate your past trauma.
Learn about the brain-based shift happening in teenagers and why they may seem less interested in their parents, but still rely on them, in this fascinating neuroscience study.
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