The attachment research calls the instinct to push when you are wanting to be close "protest" behavior.
In couples counseling I often call it sabotage.
You are hurt because you feel distant, but instead of walking closer to your sweetheart and asking for connection (and receiving when they try), you throw rocks at them (in the form of criticism or bad energy etc) and bat away the opportunities to reconnect.
The most effective way to bring your partner close is to share your desire to be close.
.webp){kind=avatar}
This video offers insightful perspective and tools for healing from inherited attachment wounds, acknowledging the realities of our caregivers' patterns while breaking the cycle for future generations
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn about the two sources that drive the desire to always be around people, natural extraversion and trauma response, and how recognizing the latter can help you find rest in solitude and process past relationships in this insightful video.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn how to strengthen your relationship and become more securely attached by reframing conflict as an opportunity to discover new things about yourself and your partner, and find out how naming your fights can bring levity and help you avoid repeating them in this insightful video.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}