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Toughness culture is Trauma culture. We don't shut down all our feelings unless something necessitates it. Sometimes that something is a family who has upheld toughness culture for so many generations it doesn't even know what the original trauma was that triggered it. The first step to healing generational trauma is acknowledging the pain and learning how to feel it. That's not weakness. It's badass courage.
Teach your kids to ask, "Is this okay?" and look for a clear and enthusiastic yes, even if someone seems reserved or quiet, to ensure that all affection is confirmed and enthusiastic.
In this video, learn why telling your child to "use their words" during an emotional moment may not be effective and how to communicate non-verbally to support them in regulating their emotions.
In this video, Dr. Ramani explains how being devalued as a child can lead to over-idealizing your own children, ultimately making them ill-equipped to handle life's challenges, and suggests that adoring and guiding them with boundaries and limits is a healthier approach.