Helping children learn honesty is a huge part of them developing a secure experience with us. But it's less about extinguishing lying and more about creating an environment for them to feel safe being open with us.
Three tips for helping create that environment:
1. Recognize and manage your own anxiety and any impulse to use honesty as a way to control your children. Honesty and pressure to perform don't mix easily.
2. Understand that lying is developmentally normal and has a wide range of variance. Don't treat all lies as psychopathic impulses. Teach and validate their wide ranging nuances.
3. Remember that honesty flourishes where messiness is understood and given empathy.
.webp){kind=avatar}
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn how to support your child when they feel jealous with these 3 essential steps - empathize, regulate, and guide - to help them understand and cope with this normal and complex emotion, in this insightful video.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}