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We are not in control of the relationships between our children and their siblings, but we are in control of how we communicate about those relationships and whether or not our stuff gets in the way of them. Like so many other things in parenting the key to helping our children build healthy dynamics with each other is in our ability to be present, calm, accepting of all the emotions and to use connection tools to model and teach socially effective ways of relating. Not all siblings are destined to be bff's, BUT if we offer a secure environment, no siblings have to be at great odds with one another. Yes, there will be seasons of discord and moments of conflict, but if we can contain our own anxiety about those times, it leaves our kids free to figure out their relationships without pressure or burden from us.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Discover the power of transformational parenting with these 3 essential steps and make a positive impact on your child's life today!
In this video, you'll learn that anger is not dangerous, but can be triggering due to past experiences, and that we need to teach children (and ourselves) how to feel and share anger safely, rather than shaming them for it, by helping them uncover and communicate the underlying need.