When someone has been abusive in the past they are at high risk for relapse. It is also confusing to know if someone has truly changed because the abuse cycle includes a honeymoon that masquerades as change but is really just
the relief that comes after a big eruption.
True change is quite remarkable. And takes a ton of time and concerted efforts.
AND even if someone does change, it's ok to move on and wish them well.
Remember that the disease of abuse is highly infectious and makes it extremely hard for people to heal. Not impossible, but not probable.
The signs though will be evident!
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In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
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In this video, you'll learn that while it's developmentally normal for small children to struggle with impulse control and physical aggression, it's important to teach your child about body ownership, setting boundaries, and protecting them from hurtful behavior, especially in situations where the other parent is not intervening.
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In this video, you'll learn how chronic anger and irritation could be a sign of unresolved trauma in your nervous system, and how processing those stories and finding safe spaces to feel grief and powerlessness can be the cure.
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