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When someone has been abusive in the past they are at high risk for relapse. It is also confusing to know if someone has truly changed because the abuse cycle includes a honeymoon that masquerades as change but is really just
the relief that comes after a big eruption.
True change is quite remarkable. And takes a ton of time and concerted efforts.
AND even if someone does change, it's ok to move on and wish them well.
Remember that the disease of abuse is highly infectious and makes it extremely hard for people to heal. Not impossible, but not probable.
The signs though will be evident!
In this video, you'll learn about self-gaslighting, which is learned from attachment relationships where someone taught you to constantly question your body, reactions, and views on reality, and the importance of acknowledging the trauma and learning to trust your own needs.
In this video, you'll learn about the challenges that couples face in their attachment when having children, and the importance of understanding and valuing the labor of the partner who cares for the children at home, as childcare is also work.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.