Human beings are wired to co-regulate. Which means that closeness to other people when we are in distress helps our nervous systems to calm and reset.
The words "come here" or "I am here" when used with gentleness and compassion are deeply soothing and can help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
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In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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In this video, learn why dismissing a child's emotions can hinder their ability to gain perspective, and how to help them process their feelings to build emotional resilience for bigger challenges later in life.
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