Natural consequences are great teachers. IF our children have learned to be cued into their bodies signals. (A challenge that takes more time and effort for neurodivergent children with ADHD and Autism in particular).
The skill of interoception is an attachment related skill.
Children learn to make good choices for their bodies by learning to listen to the signals inside of their bodies.
When we punish a child or create more consequences to get them to do something we know is good for them, we are placing their attention away from their bodies, thus delaying the skill and not encouraging it.
Yes, this means being patient and attentive to our children in a world that is very task focused. But is there any other task more important than the task of teaching our children how to listen to and trust their bodies?
Guide and teach instead of punishing and preaching. Your child will feel safe with you and you'll feel less stressed too.
(Also p.s. I don't do this 100 percent of the time. Sometimes I am cranky and grouchy and tired. But I do try to do this most of the time and when I do, it's far more effective)
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In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
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Discover how to build a closer relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style by understanding their fear of burdening others with their emotions and needs, and by showing up for them in small ways in this compassionate and insightful video.
Learn how to support your baby's mental health by keeping them close, providing movement, and mirroring their emotions in this insightful video.
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