For all of the fathers out there doing the work to connect with your children, keep going.
In a world that is filled with wounded men who never had the chance to experience empathy and connection in their own childhoods, your children desperately need you to show them what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like.
I know this is not an easy ask. That the world around you (and probably your own growing up experiences) will mock you in your attempts to be tender and kind instead of seeking control and dominance.
But you won't regret it. Your children will trust you. And run into your arms and rely on you as a safe haven and a secure base. There is truly no triumph in life greater than the success of being a secure attachment figure for your children.
Connection is what creates resilience for both your children, and for you.
In this video, the speaker discusses teaching children to be socially capable while also recognizing and speaking out against abusive power dynamics, rejecting the notion that respect equals compliance and emphasizing the importance of paying attention and setting boundaries.
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
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