Harsh punishment and power and control tactics like yelling, punishing, and shaming can create behavioral changes in children. They become compliant But WHY?
Because they are scared of the punisher.
They "work" because they trigger a dissociative shutdown and make a child unsafe enough to feel powerless and therefore to freeze or cease actions.
And what else do harsh punishments do to children?
They teach children that relationships are about power and control and to relate thru abusive patterns. Which leads to adults who are either 1. Repeating the cycle of power and control or 2. Have deep self worth wounds...both requiring lots of time and work to heal and change.
Instead of trying to control your child's behavior, work on keeping your own need for control in check. Be compassionate with them and with you.
Yes, set limits, but set them lovingly and without creating fear for them.
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In this video, we explore why punishment may not be the best approach to parenting and how positive reinforcement can be a more effective and nurturing alternative
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In this video, learn about the importance of timing when teaching children how to regulate their emotions, and why it's essential to wait until they have calmed down before offering guidance.
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In this video, discover how our brain's instinct to tell stories is not only adaptive but also beneficial for our mental health, as it helps us process and move on from complex experiences.
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