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The human instinct to tell stories is an adaptive process for our brain health.
When we tell stories about our complex and disturbing experiences it helps our brain to create neural pathways from one side to the other, which in turn helps us believe that the story is in the past.
Secure families tell stories, even about painful events.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
In this video, we learn about the immense responsibility projected onto victims in abusive relationships and how trying to heal the abuser can betray one's own healing.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.