Nope. Toughing up your children to learn to deal with a rough world doesn't make them more resilient.
It just makes you their first bully. And strips them of a sense of secure belonging with you.
Human beings have survived and thrived as long as we have because we have an attachment instinct. When we form close supportive bonds with our family it helps us identify abuse in others and pick better friends and partners.
Treat your children with such profound respect and connection that they find unkind, dismissive, and cruel treatment jarring and instinctively protect themselves from it.
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Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.
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In this video, you'll learn that how you live is the biggest teaching tool in your toolkit, as humans are wired to learn through watching and imitating, rather than through directions or instructions.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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