Nope. Toughing up your children to learn to deal with a rough world doesn't make them more resilient.
It just makes you their first bully. And strips them of a sense of secure belonging with you.
Human beings have survived and thrived as long as we have because we have an attachment instinct. When we form close supportive bonds with our family it helps us identify abuse in others and pick better friends and partners.
Treat your children with such profound respect and connection that they find unkind, dismissive, and cruel treatment jarring and instinctively protect themselves from it.
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In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
Learn about the concept of Restraint Collapse and how children rely on their attachment relationship to express their emotions in this insightful video, which provides tips on how to offer compassion and a safe space for your kids to release their emotional tensions after holding it together all day.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
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