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The way we make meaning about our children's behavior is a huge component of whether or not they will have a secure attachment experience with us.
When we help our children see the needs beneath their behavior we give them the opportunity to learn how to articulate their needs instead of acting them out.
It is not enabling a child to help them see the dignified need beneath a problematic behavior. It is empowering them. This is the crux of a secure parent child dynamic.
This video offers guidance on how parents can help their kids learn about conflict resolution through setting boundaries and offering compassion towards both parties, emphasizing the importance of safety and boundaries, effective communication, and moving to repair in conflict situations.
In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.