Reminder that if we want our kids to be secure, well-regulated and resilient, we aren't trying to teach them to need nothing from anyone (independence ), we are trying to teach them how to effectively live in community and how to have close attachment relationships (interdependence).
Human beings thrive when we are in positive supportive, mutual relationships.
If your kids need your help (especially in big emotional moments), you are not creating dependence when you support them, you are creating trust.
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In this video, Dr. Ramani explains how being devalued as a child can lead to over-idealizing your own children, ultimately making them ill-equipped to handle life's challenges, and suggests that adoring and guiding them with boundaries and limits is a healthier approach.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
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