Blossom Together 🌸 Spring Sale
Join Our Community & Gift a Membership to a Friend!"

Please Don’t Use the “Polishing My Shotgun” Approach to Protection

Yes, it is one of our jobs as parents to do what we can to protect our children from anyone who intends them harm.

But, "I will do whatever I can to keep you safe" and "I will brutalize anyone who hurts you" are not the same thing.

The first sentence is protective. The second sentence is violent.

I have worked with countless survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence who never shared their traumatic experiences with parent figures out of fear that their parents would tear their perpetrators limb by limb, which would only add to their trauma of witnessing violence, and potentially lead to their caregivers ending up on jail and not do anything to actually protect them or help them heal from the pain.

You can tell your kids, "I will always be here to get you out of harms way, and I will believe you, and be a refuge and a barrier between you and whoever has abused you".

This is protective and comforting to your kids, without being scary. We don't need to threaten to become their perpetrator's perpetrator in order to convey our dedication to their protection.


Join the Attachment Nerd Herd Membership—your go-to support system for thriving parenthood!

Similar to what you just watched

Addiction Intervention and Anger

In this video, the speaker reflects on the challenges of supporting loved ones in addiction recovery and offers insights into why defensiveness and anger can be common responses.

Your Teenager is Not Rejecting You

In this video, you'll learn why your teen's focus on peer relationships is a natural part of their development and not a rejection of you, and how you can support them through this stage by remaining calm and being a secure base for them to return to when things get tough.

Three Tips to Teach Your Tweens and Teens about Relationships

In this video, discover three crucial things that tweens should know about relationships to navigate the world of fuzzy feelings and crushes, and learn why it's important to provide them with guidance on building healthy relationships for the future.

Your free video usage has reached its limit.
Access this Video
Already a member? Login Here
Your free video usage has reached its limit.
Access this Video