Please Don’t Use the “Polishing My Shotgun” Approach to Protection

No items found.

Yes, it is one of our jobs as parents to do what we can to protect our children from anyone who intends them harm.

But, "I will do whatever I can to keep you safe" and "I will brutalize anyone who hurts you" are not the same thing.

The first sentence is protective. The second sentence is violent.

I have worked with countless survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence who never shared their traumatic experiences with parent figures out of fear that their parents would tear their perpetrators limb by limb, which would only add to their trauma of witnessing violence, and potentially lead to their caregivers ending up on jail and not do anything to actually protect them or help them heal from the pain.

You can tell your kids, "I will always be here to get you out of harms way, and I will believe you, and be a refuge and a barrier between you and whoever has abused you".

This is protective and comforting to your kids, without being scary. We don't need to threaten to become their perpetrator's perpetrator in order to convey our dedication to their protection.


Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

Three Tips for Navigating Tricky Conversations with the People You Love

In this video, learn three tips for navigating difficult moments in relationships, including acknowledging tension, expressing confidence in the relationship, and actively listening to the other person's perspective.

You Do Not Have Control Over Your Kids

In this video, you'll learn about the myth of parental control, and how focusing on controlling our own behavior rather than our children's behavior can lead to a more secure attachment relationship and greater self-control in our children.

Three Things You Can Do to Help Your Children Develop Healthy Sibling Relationships

In this video, learn how to help your children build healthy relationships with their siblings by focusing on your own communication, being present, accepting all emotions, and using connection tools to model effective social skills without burdening your kids with pressure.

Your free video usage has reached its limit.
Access this Video
Already a member? Login Here