I often have clients tell me that crying doesn't make them feel better, it makes them feel worse.
And they aren't wrong. When we are stuck in a despair mindset, it often brings us to tears, but they aren't relieving or releasing...they are hopeless and depressing.
But don't let despair tears stereotype all crying for you. Because a release of grief can be incredibly healing. When we grieve (esp with caring others), it allows our body to release some of the emotional pain from our traumas and losses so we can move forward.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, learn how to practice emotional self-care by setting healthy boundaries with people in your life who are unable or unwilling to respect them, and how to recognize that it's not cruel to spend less time with them in order to protect your peace.
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