One of the most important skills we give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship when something they have done (or not done) effects someone else.
Like most other things, they learn this primarily by watching what you model.
Kids need to see adults apologize and take ownership of the impact of their actions with these two important elements:
1. The absence of shame. If we enter shame when we apologize we take away the focus on the other person's pain or upset.
2. The presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
Good luck out there parents! If you're anything like me there are MANY opportunities every day to model apologizing ..š
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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In this informative and practical video, learn how emotional flooding can disorient and lead us to push away those we need, and how to use the Letting go/Staying close method to support loved ones during these difficult moments by releasing pressure and standing back while staying open and supportive.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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