We want our kids to be able to take accountability for their actions but also be empowered enough to stand up for their needs and have boundaries with people who are bullying or mistreating them.
When someone is upset at them or with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them the difference between insults and feedback.
We want our kids to guard themselves from insults, but openly receive feedback.
Teaching them the difference will make all the difference.
Insults are aimed at their personhood (I don't like you)
Feedback is aimed at the behavior (I don't like what you did)
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
Learn how to handle the endless "why" questions from your child by turning it into a time of imagination, allowing them to wonder and theorize about things, rather than just providing an answer, which can foster a sense of connection and curiosity.
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