We don't have to choose between being compassionate and setting a limit.
In fact, the more connected we remain to our child as we teach them, the better their brain will function for absorbing the lesson at hand instead of processing our reactive responses to their emotions.
FYI: How long it takes to set a compassionate limit varies depending on your child's age, how hungry or tired they are at that moment, what other stressors they are navigating in their life at the moment, and whether or not you have been consistent in your structure and limits.
In this video, the speaker discusses "Compassionate Transportation," a technique for safely and empathetically getting children to cooperate when they are overwhelmed by emotions and immediate actions are necessary.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
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