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Sometimes there isn't time to let the feelings all out. Our kids have big emotional resistance to things that need to happen right then.
Specifically I am asked this the most about toddlers and car seats. "What am I supposed to do when we have to get somewhere and my toddler isn't cooperating and all the connection tips aren't working to get them to leave willingly?"
I call this Compassionate Transportation.
I do it when my kid is lacking self control and someone else is getting hurt, or when they are near a road and not backing away quickly, or when I have to be at work and have no flexible window etc. I focus on keeping my body calm and empathetic while I put my child where they need to be.
It is painful. For both of us. But we repair and we process it later. And their trust in my capacity to handle their feelings isn't damaged.
When a child's brain chemistry is too flooded to cooperate but safety or urgent timing are at hand, you can hold a boundary without punishment, or shaming or harsh energy.
You care about what they are feeling while you compassionately transport their body to where it needs to be. Then they can let out all the feelings and you can repair and reconnect once the flood of neurochemicals settle.
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
In this video, you'll learn that while it's developmentally normal for small children to struggle with impulse control and physical aggression, it's important to teach your child about body ownership, setting boundaries, and protecting them from hurtful behavior, especially in situations where the other parent is not intervening.
In this video, you'll learn that how you live is the biggest teaching tool in your toolkit, as humans are wired to learn through watching and imitating, rather than through directions or instructions.