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One of the most prevalent fallacies in human development is the idea that if you respond attentively to your young children, it will form them into weak self-centered dependent adults.
The research indicates the exact opposite. When children experience emotional attunement and responsiveness from their caregivers it helps them feel safe, which in turn helps their brain develop more awareness and complex focus in relationships. When children's emotional needs are ignored, they develop heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships. (check out the strange situation studies, and Es Tronick's Still Face Experiment, and the Adult Attachment Interview, and all the longitudinal studies done with all three tools).
You aren't spoiling your child when you comfort them, hold them, respond to them, and treat them with the same respect you would want in a difficult or need based moment.
Ignore the judgment and follow your instincts for care. I promise you won't regret it.
In this video, learn why dismissing a child's emotions can hinder their ability to gain perspective, and how to help them process their feelings to build emotional resilience for bigger challenges later in life.
Discover how to set limits lovingly and effectively to teach small children to hear and understand the boundaries in compassionate ways, instead of punishing or upping the ante, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of avoiding power battles and teaching children that they have the power to grow and learn from their experiences.
In this video, the speaker discusses how children experience grief differently than adults, and how their feelings of loss and powerlessness may manifest through tantrums, whining, or anger, emphasizing the importance of reaching out to support children during times of transition and change.