Example: Addressing Toddler “Aggression”

No items found.

Small children often lack the impulse control to stop themselves from hitting, pushing, slapping, biting etc. Sometimes they are doing it in play, sometimes in anger, but all the time without a full understanding of the risk involved in their actions.

They need our help in hearing and understanding the limits in compassionate ways. The myth is that you have to punish or up the ante somehow in order for them to learn. Unfortunately when you do that, you are teaching a different lesson. That you have power to hurt (intentionally) and they do not. It breaks trust in your relationship or in their sense of themselves as a growth focused human.

Instead set limits lovingly and clearly. I say "I am not going to let you hurt or do etc" so they understand the boundary. And when they process the emotions around that limit I do my best (on my good days) to offer compassion and support to their process. And they learn. So well. Yes, it takes time, but they get there. And we aren't stuck in a power battle on the way there.


Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

Playfulness Helps the Brain Learn

Learn the benefits of playing make believe with your kids, how it helps their brains and your bond with them, and get fun ideas for make believe scenarios to try, including playing wild animals on the way to lunch and defending a castle against stinky underwear, in this insightful video.

The Only Thing Your Child Can Learn When Emotionally Triggered

In this video, learn why it's important to focus on soothing and supporting kids' emotions before trying to teach them, as strong emotions take energy away from the brain's thinking and processing areas, and how you can use co-regulation and language to help them grow once they've calmed down. Remember to "Connect before you correct," as Dr. Karyn Purvis said.

How to Raise Confident Kids

Learn how attuning to a child's interests and internal states can build their trust in their body, freeing them to confidently explore the world in this insightful video.

Your free video usage has reached its limit.
Access this Video
Already a member? Login Here