When a child asks you a question about a BIG or adult topic remember this:
1. Be honest
2. Be age appropriate
3. Answer in a way that conveys your role as someone who cares for them
It can feel overwhelming when kids ask questions about topics that we feel overwhelmed by. The key to having these moments and in connection instead of overwhelm is to remain calm, give them the amount of truth you can sense they are ready to handle, and always follow up the big conversations with the reassurance that you are there for them and they don't have to handle any big things alone.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
A message to all fathers: keep going with your efforts to connect with your children because they desperately need to see what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like, and it will create a secure attachment that fosters resilience.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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