Watch out for focusing too much on fairness as a teaching tool when your kids are little..
It creates a belief in their minds that all good behavior gets rewarded and bad behavior gets punished...that the world is just and orderly....this is a huge liability if they are exposed to trauma. Their conclusion becomes "I must have deserved this".
This belief is called The Just World Belief and is correlated with higher levels of PTSD in combat vets and SA survivors.
Instead of focusing on them being bad or good or fair...use relational motivation to help them make good choices..."sharing with our friends makes enjoying things more fun". "Taking turns helps us learn patience" etc. "It feels good to have a clean room and know where our things are"
And always send the message when they are in pain that you are there for them and don't think they caused it or deserves it.
Learn about the brain-based shift happening in teenagers and why they may seem less interested in their parents, but still rely on them, in this fascinating neuroscience study.
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In this video, you'll learn why investing time in a connected approach to parenting when your kids are young can lead to a beautiful relationship with your children and less time repairing broken trust in the future.
This video is about limbic resonance, which is when your feeling brain is lined up with someone else's feeling brain, and you feel connected.
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