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When we are asking our children to change their behavior or understand the impact of their behavior we are creating neural patterns for them.
If we use punishment we are creating shame, fear and pain connections to the experience of being asked to change or grow.
These neural networks then get activated in other relationships making it hard to be receptive to change or to feedback from people in our lives.
When we use teaching focused methods instead of control focused methods our children can learn without feeling yucky about growth.
Gentle teaching doesn't make weaker adults, it makes calmer more centered adults.
Check out "no drama discipline" by Dan Siegel , or peaceful parent happy kids by Dr Laura Markum for ideas on how to teach without punishment
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
Learn how contempt in relationships often stems from shame and how to address the root cause of contempt by addressing the underlying shame through vulnerability and open communication with your partner or attachment figures in this insightful and practical video.
In this video, you'll learn that human beings are wired to co-regulate, and that words like "come here" or "I am here" used with gentleness and compassion can be deeply soothing and help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.