The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful for kids, its application actually creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood.
Neuroscience imaging has been able to correlate early childhood neglect and trauma with an enlarged amygdala.(higher reactivity) As well it has correlated secure attachment relationships with a thicker neocortex (better executive functioning).
So when your child is emotionally flooded, no matter if it is over a significant loss or something small, giving them compassion, proximity and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function and won't spoil anything except maybe someone else's perception of your parenting.
And if the choice is between your child's brain and someone else's approval...it's not much of a choice really.
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Learn how to effectively manage anxiety by calming your body and watching your thoughts follow suit - discover why it's easier to work from the bottom up rather than the top down with this insightful video.
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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In this video, you'll learn why children can become emotionally overwhelmed during Halloween and how to prepare for it by setting concrete expectations and anticipating potential meltdowns, so you can provide empathy and support to your child without feeling guilty or disappointed.
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