When a child shows delight in something it is an opportunity to join them in that delight . And when we do, we communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid.
This is one of the most important components of developing self-esteem.
Play is an incredible context for learning and bonding.
We can get lost in the mission to guide our children towards adult ideas and behavior and forget that they are also guiding us to remember the glory of delighting in play.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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