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How many of you watched your parents model self compassion? If you did, I'm guessing it's not a huge struggle for you? And those who didn't? Might be a harder pattern to establish.
There is incredible power in offering yourself genuine compassion and kindness when you mess up. There is even more power in letting your children see you do it. Children, (especially highly sensitive children), learn self -treatment based on not only how we treat them, but how they watch us treat ourselves. Especially when we flub.
Your kids are doing the best they can with what they have, and so are you. Being harsh or shaming doesn't inspire us to do better, it just inspires us to feel awful about ourselves.
Instead gentle accountability and compassionate understanding to inspire authenticity and problem solving for moving forward.
In this video, learn why it's important to focus on soothing and supporting kids' emotions before trying to teach them, as strong emotions take energy away from the brain's thinking and processing areas, and how you can use co-regulation and language to help them grow once they've calmed down. Remember to "Connect before you correct," as Dr. Karyn Purvis said.
Engage with your teen by giving them airtime and genuine curiosity to share their perspectives, allowing them to feel heard and seen, which will make them respect you more and see you as an ally in their maturing process.
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.