Self gaslighting is a phenomena that you learn from an attachment relationship where someone taught you to constantly question your body, your reactions, and your views on reality.
It is deeply disorienting and leads to painful anxiety and depression.
The process towards learning to trust yourself starts with acknowledging the trauma that came from the relationship (s) where you were mistreated and taught to sacrifice your own needs to please the person gaslighting you.
Then you get to radically shift from always questioning your needs to learning to trust them.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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Self-hatred is a product of insecure attachment and other traumas, but the first step towards self-love is to grieve and open up to the pain present in your attachment relationships and to see yourself in a new light.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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